I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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