I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
