I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
