I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
