Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
