Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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