I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Randomize
