i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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