you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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