Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
