the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
