is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Never underestimate the power of titties
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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