is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
