i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
