So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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