your thong is hanging out like whoa
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
