So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize