Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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