You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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