She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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