Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
