Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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