Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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