garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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