I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
