garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
