I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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