And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
