Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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