just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
