Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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