If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
