I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
