Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
