Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
