me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
