also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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