That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
