Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
BRING THE BAGELS
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
