Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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