Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
