shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
