I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I can't trust your balls anymore.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
