I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
