my vag is so smooth its legendary
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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