turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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