sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize