she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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