There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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