You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize