haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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