real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
