he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize