I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
