I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
