I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize