Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
the raccoons are back...
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